are you sick of washing your underpants every goddamned week? i should fucking hope so what a pain in the ass. wouldn’t you like to just not worry about washing your grimy undies for a whole shitstain-free year? well stick a dryer sheet up my butt because you’re in luck. for just 4,000 motherfucking dollars you can forget about touching that ass-cloth for 365 glorious days. every day is a fresh new day for your hairy butt cheeks. and once 2015 rolls around, you’ll have a years worth of dirty underwear to wash you piece of shit.
when ur entire class didnt do the homework
instantly, you recognise this patch of dirt as edible dirt. you start eating it. then you realise: it’s not edible. you were wrong.
gf: Come over
me: i can’t i’m skiing
gf: I have dog treats
how do french cats talk to eachother?
michael poliza in churchill manitoba, who noted “the polar bear was all by himself as they are very solitary animals anyway. but this one looked particularly sad as it wandered around, almost as though it didn’t understand where the snow had gone.” (more polar bear photos)
waking up everyday seems a little excessive